JAN  11

This morning I went to the gymnasium. I used to hate them. Thin people exercising - what's the point you freaks. YOU'RE THIN.

I have no choice as the appalling consequence of having a heart attack is that you have no choice.

I listened, whilst banging around on a cross trainer, to newly mastered KING OF NOTHING tracks for a eco-friendly vinyl release 

By Vinyl Revolution.

Couldn't fault it. IT WAS BIG.

This afternoon as I put this site together, is,  I'm thinking that I do actually quite enjoy the working out crap. A weird sense of achievement to see my BPM go where it rarely goes, and  also doesn't hurt at all. 

Name-dropping but Paul Whitehouse is responsible for kicking me up the jaxy regarding exercise. He came with Bob Mortimer to my first tour after hospitalisation at a church in St Pancras. Fuck I was thin. (see below).               Post-heart attack depression is a great diet.  Paul always checks I treadmill. He wrote to me yesterday about how shit Man Utd are. WTF is wrong with Marcus Rashford ?

Well that's it for now. 

Death of the neighbourhood III sounding wonderfully different which is always the musical plan. No sitting still, as that's what caused the heart failure in the first place. 

Oh yes

And the wine :(


Jan 12

Took my kid to mock exam - had a bagel in the Jewish Village. Bought walnuts in ridiculously huge Sainsburys. Radio on - idiots shouting 'here here'. Tory scum, labour ineffectual.

Waiting for tax bill. Tea then finalise DOTN3


Jan 13

Near my house there's a potato field, goes on for miles. Ever since covid we've been walking it. In a gathering of trees, it has a place to sit and drink chocolate under two huge old wartime parachutes. Green parakeets fly up in the canopy of the woods. At the end of one of the paths are 4 beehives, that thru the winter are deathly still. Sun came today, no clouds....so the bees were starting to return. Fucking brilliant. 

Almost finished the extra trax for DOTN3 which only appear on the CD. It all has the feel of the previous two death albums.



25-26 jan

since I last chatted  I have had what might be a recurrence of the Menieres disease I was prescribed with on 9-11

It is not as severe but I can't focus, literally, on text, keyboards etc. 

But certainly getting there now with a teaser to be released tomorrow.

Over the last few daze, I have kept my head still so I can hear and tweak the songs gently......

27 jan

SELFIE CAM teaser IS RELEASED - and tho I say it myself - I'm very proud of it.

Old early babybird still haunts the writing and lyrics, unless of course you tell me otherwise.

Subjects range from : ROADKILL which is about two 5yr olds who crossed a road and spent the some of their young lives as escaped roadkill, tho they are no longer together today......to FUCKALL - something I've gleamed from the last 2 years of covid, that life seems way more enjoyable if you can just sit on a sofa and do nothing. hardest thing to do - it's just about sidelining the guilt of laziness.







London St Pancras Church

This is me - a few months after my heart informed me that I needed to behave

I have had 2 major health occasions and both have happened on the day of terrible : events 9-11 and Grenfell Tower. It may seem a tad arrogant but it kind of stole my thunder.

As the second plane flew into the tower, I had just been diagnosed with Meniere's disease - an incurable condition that blocks your hearing in one ear and can make you hideously dizzy until you fall over. I was lucky and only had a few episodes.                     Hilariously people think you're drunk.                        There is no cure except cutting out salt. I was given a list of foods, and ALL FOODS have salt in them, even sweet things.                                                                        Aurally, these days, I'm a bit like Beethoven. Afflicted by what you love best. Fucked by your work. But I'm lucky, as I still have hearing in my left ear, and even though my bad ear is pretty deaf, my brain does a brilliant job of equalising my headphone experience into stereo. "Almost Stereo" like the old Lo-fi. This is how all my bandcamp releases are mixed and produced, to my own personal fucked-up EQ.     

Happy endings.

My heart fucked up the day of Grenfell. I was in Stockport, and literally couldn't move, like a iron cage or bear trap was gripping my torso. For months before I had ignored the signs, a little bit like the slippery history of Babybird on a record label.                                                       I had stents put in - which are these two little inflatable balloons. My doctor said I was better then before. 

A happy ending.

So that's only reason I mention my health. Happy endings. A parallel to the music. That's what I aim at in everything, in life, with say a 50% success rate, but with my music, it's much higher. I'm not bragging about the songs, just that I'm almost 100% happy with them when they go out.                    Music only works when it's simple, that's why I prefer Arvo Part to Beethoven. Hopefully the instrumental side is as simple as lullabies, not sickly like a candy gag. And without meaning to sound pretentious (because if my songs ever did, I'd happily top myself) the weight comes from the words. Getting the balance right.

Just like life : a bit of gym, a bit of wine, and write some songs.

That's the happy ending.